Four summer months spent with friends in Germany

Lyubov and me in Limerick

These last four months in Wuerzburg this summer went by very quickly, almost too quickly. What is more, many things -- both good and bad -- have happened in that time, and have left me rather out of breath. But I have realised, all over again, that I am very lucky in my friends. More about all that below:

There was bad news even before I had left India as a dear friend from Helsinki died in April. Barely had I arrived in Germany in mid May that my young thirty something nephew Biju died in Delhi... that shook all of us to the core. But that was not the last...there were many other deaths including that of a few former teachers (Nandaram Das, Bishwajit Bhagabati, Kishori Mohan Pathak, Deven Dutta among others), my ex mother-in-law and my friend Ronjeeta's mother, and then on the 27th August, Jayantada left us, leaving me numb and bereft...And bad news keeps coming, only a few days ago, Luku mami left us forever... So death has been a unrelenting and recurring theme. 

Death also brings people together. First it was Jukka's illness and death in Helsinki that brought me closer than ever before to his wife Helena. Then it was Ronjeeta's mother's death that made me rally around her and we are much better friends now; and Jayantada has brought me so many more new friends -- Bisheshwar, Ashwini, and many many more. And I got to know a few old friends better -- like my friend from a very long time ago -- Franz -- who I met again in Bozen this time and with whom we spent two lovely days. And it was also nice to meet up with friends who are old and have health problems but still manage to live life with a smile and bring joy to everyone around them -- I know of at least five such wonderful people -- Baas in Goettingen, Anita and Heinz in Erlangen, and Ucki and Hai in Cork.

Since there was some renovation going on in our balcony and consequently there was a lot of noise and disturbance, I decided to reduce the time I was in m flat and travel around as much as possible -- that resulted in several trips: shorter ones to visit friends in Bremen (twice), Goettingen (to visit Baas and Momi), Koeln, Muehlacker, Schloss Weisenstein in Pommersfelden (with the Leutwilers) and Moelln, with a slightly longer stay in Freiberg; then there were short sightseeing trips to Luebeck, Lueneburg, Hannoverische Munden, and longer sightseeing trips to Berlin (with Jaynee and Dugald) in June, another to Nuremberg, Innsbruck and then all the way down to Turin over Bolzen and Milan in July (with Rakhee) and a final trip to Cork in Ireland to visit Ucki and see a bit of that part of the country (with Thomas) with an extra day in Dublin thrown in at the end due to a flight cancellation. These trips have been enjoyable, not only because of the sights but also because of the company. Because of the renovations, stay-at-home guests were not many this time, but still I had a few -- Rakhee and Baker came in July, Thunu and Ite came for a few days each in August, and Jule came to stay in September, besides, of course, Juergen who does not count technically as a guest.

And I have made new friends -- that is what makes me happiest. Ite I have known as Juergen's wife for many years but had not had the chance to get to know her better, but first I visited them in their lovely home in Muehlacker and realise that she was someone very special. Although Juergen comes to Wuerzburg often, Ite had never come, so she came for a few days in August and it was amazing how nicely we hit it off. We really made the best of the time she was here and had a lovely time. Then there was Elias who I have known for many years as a mathematician, but not very much as a person. We had talked off and on about our two fathers' respective legacies (his father was a rather talented artist, mine was a not so successful writer) but it was the trip to Freiberg this time that made us friends, in the real sense of the term. And finally, as if it was destiny, Gabi, Thomas's cousin, came my way and it has been a huge gift for me. A gift like no other.

Tough times also teach you to be grateful for the blessings one has. For I have been very lucky despite everything, and have found so much beauty and positivity even in the midst of darkness. The first act of kindness came on the very first day of my arrival in Germany, when out of the blue, for no good reason whatsoever, Anne Marie Schwittek, a good freind and wife of Stephan's life long friend Peter Schwittek, just offered to come and pick me up at Frankfurt airport and drive me all the way back to Wuerzburg! I cried in disbelief and in gratitude. And then this time at Cork airport, just at that moment of despair when I realised that I would have to travel all the way to Dublin by road late in the evening, find a hotel to stay two nights in and then wait two days to get back home, Emma, a Finnish woman just came my way and suggested that we go to Dublin together. Her flight was also cancelled and rescheduled from Dublin. That was sheer luck, as not only did we travel together we also went sightseeing in Dublin together and it was completely out of the world. And then how lucky Rakhee and I were with the weather on our Italian trip. A severe hurricane had hit Milan just hours before we arrived; there was severe flooding in Bolzen a few days after we left.  And all the time we were afraid of the extreme heat in Italy, but that never came! And we had the amazing hospitality and warmth of friends wherever we went in Italy. It was wonderful and fills me with immense gratitude.

I think after this period I am convinced that it is my friends who matter most to me, it is my friends who define me, who hold me, who justify my being here,... and I have been given friends very generously -- in Europe as well as back home in India. I do not know how I deserve their love and friendship but that is how it is.  Be it Silvia who makes her partner's flat available for us to stay in in Turin even though they are both away, or be it Anna who will unhesitatingly clear everything from my balcony at a moment's notice, who will water my plants and who will hold my hand when I am feeling down. Then there is Lea who will take a morning off to make matar-paneer, lusis and masala chai for me, despite having two kids to take care of and a doctoral dissertation to write, just to make you feel good.  But how can I end before telling you about this one crazy and beautiful friend who I meet roughly once every 10-15 years but who is one of my best friends -- the one and only Lyubov from Bulgaria, who I met again this time in Limerick (she was in Galway visiting her daughter, I was in Cork, so we met halfway in Limerick) after a gap of 14 years. But it seemed only like yesterday. She smiled and the skies lit up and the world seemed a beautiful place to be living in. And we laughed and thanked our stars for bringing us together again and for everything that we have been blessed with.