Random thoughts about Indian tourists in Europe

I am an Indian myself. But there are a few things I find hard to understand about my guests from back home when they come visiting: here is a random sample of some problems I have had. I am not complaining, perhaps I am just as bad as any of them, but I just wanted to make a list so that I knew what to expect, and what not to expect, next time someone comes visiting me. I guess some of my friends will be cross with me because they think I am talking about them, I hope they will forgive me and take it in the right spirit. I am being grossly unfair here I know, for most of my friends who have visited me over the last years have been very independent, capable, accommodative and were a lot of fun and no trouble at all.  But still, there are some typical Indian traits that I need to talk about. Or perhaps these traits are not Indian at all...

Maybe part of the problem lies in me. Having lived in Germany for more than twenty years now, maybe I have just got so used to a certain style of doing things, of not wanting to depend on others, of having to cope with many things on my own, that I dont see the problems my guests might be having away from their own homes. Perhaps other Indian hosts living in Europe will be more kind and sympathetic about some of the issues that I mention below. Perhaps I am just too cut and dry, obssessive about not being late, impatient, and too 'German' compared to the normal average Indian. But can't be helped. That is who I am. I realise that I am a very hard taskmaster and am not much fun to be with when I am stressed out about something. I often stop talking and get into a bad mood when things get delayed or don't work out as planned. I hate not knowing where we are or whether we shall make it to that particular train. That is part of the problem of being a 'control freak'. I am working on that and beg forgiveness from all who I have bullied and been nasty to in the course of our travels or meetings. And of course I, with my unkempt hair and untidy looks, have been a blot in the landscape wherever they have included me in their travel photos.

Here by tourists I mean friends and relations who come to visit and stay with you, if you happen to live in Europe, while they are on a tour of a few countries of Europe, either on business, such as attending a conference somewhere, or for leisure, which is happening increasingly these days. Many of them have been to Europe before but come again wanting to tick off a few more places from their bucket list. They come and stay for a few days or upto a week and expect their hosts to take them around and show them the sights. Of course the expectations are higher if the hosts happen to have a car, which is most often the case. And no doubt your Indian guests will reciprocate all the kindnesses you do to them in more than full measure next time you are in India, but while much more can be said about that, that is not the point of this story. The point is about attitudes and of expectations of Indian guests visiting Europe.

I want to point out here, that what I want to talk about is, as my friend said, a generational thing -- the generation younger to us, the generation of our kids, of our students, are really very different from their parents, from us. But they are not different from other young people from anywhere else in the world. They travel light, they are physically so fit that they can carry all they need in rucksacks on  their backs, and they ask for no one's help to find their way about in this big wide world.

But from now on I am talking about Indian tourists from our generation. Of course what I write below does not apply to everybody. I have also had very lovely guests who had tried to help and be accommodative and go along with whatever was possible. And I also do not want to say that I have anything against having guests come to visit. I do love it when dear friends from back home come to stay and it is always a special pleasure, but then sometimes some things do jar... what I write below is a sample collection of things that have happened to me or to people I know, during the course of the last years...

First of all they all come with huge amounts of luggage, ignoring my standard mantra of 'carry only as much luggage as you can carry'. If it was winter one would understand but in the height of summer? If one was going to the back of beyond one would understand, but to Europe? And if one is fit and able to carry the luggage without help then also one would understand, but that is most often not the case. In fact most Indians are so unfit that they can hardly carry (read drag) themselves, leave alone their luggage, for any significant distance. The fact that most of the women come wearing fancy shoes or dainty sandals absolutely not suitable for walking adds to the general problem. 

Earlier there was this issue of tourists constantly converting the price of  everythinng into rupees and then complaining about how expensive it was, but that problem has gone down subtantially over time, as my Indian friends earn well, are now quite well off and can afford to spend substantial amounts while travelling. But since most Indians like to show off their wealth, the first thing that hits you is this general  madness about bringing a lot of very expensive gifts in their original packing with the price tags still intact to give away to their hosts or other friends they meet in Europe. All very sweet and kind, but ever so often the cloth sizes will be wrong, or the Indian chunni too large for the European taste, making the whole gift rather meaningless. 

Much worse, however, is the endless shopping that Indian tourists have to invariably do under the pretext of having to take back gifts (sometimes more than one for close family) for absolutely everyone they know back home in India! Even if they did not care about the money spent (which is substantial), not only is excessive shopping not a very healthy thing to do given the condition of their already severely overladen suitcases, most often they land up buying useless stuff or articles 'made in India' to take back to India, or having to buy yet another suitcase and pay excess baggage to cart everything they have bought back home! And since there are no porters in Europe, and since the shoes are not right, you can imagine what a nightmare it is getting everything eventually to the train station or to the airport!

While we are on luggage there is also this other problem that Indian guests often forget that their hosts in Europe do not have servants, so if they just get off the car and expect their suitcases to arrive miraculously in their rooms (as would happen in India), most often than not it is the poor (often aged) host who is having to use his own limbs to work the miracle, rather unwillingly and grossly unfairly. I have even had guests who have kept sitting in the car in the rain because they did not know how to open an umbrella, or those who always complained about how difficult it was to tie shoe laces. Then there is another set who arrive and immediately declare what they MUST have -- 'I MUST eat rice, once a day at least, otherwise I won't be able to function', or 'I MUST have a room to myself as I have a very light sleep and get disturbed with the slightest movement.' 

Then there is the other set of problems created by this new gadget called a smart phone! First of all, most of them come with some overseas roaming plans which allow them to talk to their folks back home unlimited amounts, daily, to report back on the absolutely wonderful time they are having in Europe; That is understandable and even better to some extent than the situation earlier when house guests would, on the sly, use their hosts' land lines to call back home ringing up huge bills that they leave their hosts to pay after they are gone. But the smart phone is much more than just a phone. So much so that most Indians MUST carry their smartphones in their hands all the time -- rain or sunshine, day or night, outside or inside; most Indian women cannot cope with the idea of putting their smart phones into their handbags, even while they are having to also carry twenty other bags from their latest shopping spree. So the smart phone invarably gets left behind in shops and trams while one is trying to shop for things or while trying to get off a crowded tram or bus. And you can imagine the panic and the huge waste of time and energy incurred trying to retrieve the precious thing. The panic is understandable as losing a smart phone can create major problems, but wouldn't it be better to keep the device safely in a handbag or purse so that it doesn't get left behind in the first place? But somehow my Indian guests seem to not see the logic of this.

Then there is this other phenomenon related to smart phones -- one must take a million photos with them everywhere one goes. And since those photos all need to be uploaded to social media like FB or Instagram later, every one has to look pretty and pose prettily in front of every tourist attraction, then those photos have to be checked, and more photos have to be clicked if the earlier ones were not nice enough. Looking nice is very important. FB has made narcissists out of many of us, and we like nothing better than look at ourselves in the mirror, or look at photos of ourselves in our smart phones. And photos have to be clicked in various constellations and combinations in front of major buildings like the Eiffel tower in Paris or the Cathedral in Milan -- first each person singly, then couples together, then families together, then the whole group. All this takes a lot of time. And while all this is going on, one actually has very little time left to appreciate the history of the building or the art behind the painting or the statue that one has come to see -- the most important thing is to have some proof that one was there. The rest is not so important. And this need to be pretty in the pictures that are clicked also perhaps explains all the many dresses, matching jewellery and elaborate make-up that most Indian tourists bring along and spend ages putting on each time before going out. Thus eating into valuable time that could be used more productively by spending more time at the historic sights. But try explaining that to someone who needs to look beautiful all the time, no matter what or where.

Most Indians also do not like walking. Most would prefer not to walk at all, but since that is almost not possible in Europe, they would like to keep it to an absolute minimum. Of course having to walk in shopping arcades, malls and department stores is another thing. There one doesn't mind having to walk so much, especially the ladies. All tiredness vanishes at the mention of going shopping! But having to walk from A to B even if it is from the parking lot to the next sight can be too much for an average Indian tourist. Another thing about most of my Indian guests, they can't read maps. Fair enough, they are not used to reading maps in India, but it is not rocket science, most people can master using Google maps or reading the nicely marked tourist maps without having to invest too much effort. But no, why should they try to read a map as long as there are others who can show them the way? So they prefer that someone else read the map and they be left to wander around and window shop and just tag along. But if the one doing the map reading gets it wrong by chance, then they are quick to reprimand the person, 'Please make sure we are going in the right direction, you know how hard it is for us to walk, we simply can't afford to get it wrong.' Why they don't try to do the navigation themselves if they care so much about getting it right beats me.

Most of my Indian friends do not have much idea about how people live in Europe. So basic things like making sure to switch off all lights when leaving, being careful with house keys, cleaning the toilets after use, being careful about sorting the rubbish, stripping the beds before leaving or offering to help with mowing the lawn or carrying out the garbage do not always come naturally to them. But it is nice when some try. And staying in someone's house when the owner is away is a different ball game altogether. While it was very generous of the hosts to allow their guests the use of the flat or house, one has to be careful about what is okay to use and what is not. I think that it is generally not right to use the hosts' things, especially their reserve stocks of food and toiletries, except for the bare minimum like salt, pepper, and toilet paper.  And also that one has to take care of the things in the house (like watering plants or taking care of pets) while one is there and one should clean up and leave the house in a reasonable condition when one leaves.  Also follow instructions precisely about where to throw the garbage, how to switch off the electricity, and where to drop the keys before departing. Most Indians find such precise instructions hard to follow. 

Then of course there is this need to show off the little they know. Whenever asked about India, Indian tourists can wax eloquent on many subjects related to their dear motherland.  But most Indians are very bad at numerical quantification. So when asked to quantify things, many will try to get away with answers  including terms like many, very big,  very far etc. But then if you insist, rather than admitting they don't know, or quickly looking up the actual figures on Google, they come up with the most ludicruous figures. I will never forget the astonishment on the faces of some Europeans when my friend happily told them that almost 50% of households in India have air conditioning! (The truth is just about 13% currently do.) In some other context, that same friend also mentioned that the percentage of  Muslims in India is about 25%! True, there are many Muslims in India but in percentage terms it is not more than 15% currently.

In the same vein, attempts made by Indian tourists to acquire more information about issues in Europe often end as self-congratulatory declarations. Indian tourists will often ask someone a question, but then not have the patience to listen to the answer. They ask not because they actually want to hear the answer, but often only show the world how much they already know. So they will actually not allow the person to answer, but interrupt him or her midway, and then prompt him or her to confirm what they already know. Very irritating at the least, forthright embarrassing when carried too far. And have you seen Indian tourists sitting in buses or in restaurants complaining loudly in Hindi, Bengali, or some Indian language, about how awful things are in Europe or how tasteless and/or expensive food is, here, absolutely certain that nobody around will understand them? But catch them out and they look like scared nervous kittens and will look away in confusion and ready to swear that they did not mean any of what they said.

Then there is something else, which a European friend of mine (who knows India well) expressed by saying, 'Indians are generally very self-centered. They don't really care about anyone else as long as they are fine.' I immediately thought of some examples from the 'I MUST' category like 'I absolutely MUST have a cup of green tea served to me on the dot at 7:30 every morning with a dash of honey and a slice of lemon on the side, else I wont be able to get out of bed at all.' But the example we had before us was much more subtle. What had happened was that I was supposed to go with my Indian friend and this European friend to a very famous museum. Since the museum was very popular, my European friend had kindly offered to buy the entry tickets and also reserve a time slot for the three of us. But when we arrived at the museum at the appointed hour my Indian friend realised that she had left her smart phone behind somewhere. Since we would lose our time slots if we all went back to look for the phone, we explained the situation to the people at the door of the museum who kindly allowed my Indian friend to join us later. The two of us decided to just go in but we were very worried about whether she found her phone or not. So we were not being able to really concentrate on what we were seeing in the museum. We waited to have some news from her. But my Indian friend did not bother to let us know that she had found her phone. She did not seem to think it was necessary at all. When we finally saw her, she was happily taking selfies of herself with her phone in the museum! What we did or whether we cared was not her concern.

There was this other situation when I thought my guest was being rather self-centred. She needed to go to the airport early on a Sunday morning to catch her flight back home. But rather than insist that the hosts arrange a taxi for her and not spoil their Sunday getting up so early, she seemed to expect her hosts to drop her at the airport. There has been an occasion when a guest had actually expected a friend who had come with a car from another city to meet her to book a hotel and stay the night in order that she could be ferried to the airport in his car the next morning. While Indian hosts will often indulge their guests in this context, I have seen European hosts simply shake their heads in disbelief at the audacity of the suggestion. But that will not stop Indian guests from trying to save their last few euros by getting the hosts to give them a free ride to the airport. Who cares if it is Sunday morning? Who cares if the hotel bill is much more than the taxi fare to the airport? At least they will not have to pay it! So much for being self-centered. 

Mixed with this is also a certain amount of cunning, a sense that many Indians develop as a self-defence technique, which they then, subconsciously perhaps, use in certain situations abroad. For example, many Indian tourists spend lavishly on buying souvenirs and mementoes but then suddenly run of change or of cash when it comes to giving tips to waiters in restaurants, taxi drivers or tour guides.That is rather petty and small minded. Then they will try to extract the most from particular situations. Some examples:  they will order food at a restaurant and then endlessly complain about the food that is served with the hope of getting an extra serving or a discount; they will haggle with Indian, or Indian-looking Bangladeshi or Pakistani shopkeepers claiming common brotherhood whenever they can, but be in their best behaviour with the white-skinned ones. And then there was that occasion when a visiting friend loudly declared to our driver cum tour guide one evening, when she realised that the hotel room we had been allotted was on the second floor of a hotel without an elevator. 'We Indians are smart. Don't think for a moment that you can fool us.' While such a statement could have worked in certain situaions in India, it did not help at all at that moment and only hardened the attitude of the tour guide towards us for the rest of the trip. While my friend did manage to get a change of room that evening by discussing the matter with the tour operator, the room allotment had nothing to do either with our being smart or with our being fools.

And finally what really gets me is, when at the end of a long tour, with many occasions when heavy luggage had to be lugged over long distances, our guests finally declare, 'we managed to wear not even half of all the clothes we had brought along. What a pity!' If they had only traded the other half of their fancy clothes for a sturdy pair of walking shoes and a waterproof jacket, their trip would have been so much easier. But then the photos would not have been half as nice! By Jove, you can never win...