We're trying to raise 15 lakhs to build a multi-purpose shed in Sishugram. When we started, I imagined it would not be difficult to raise that amount through crowd funding. My idea was that many in India would happily contribute varying amounts ranging from Rs. 500 to Rs. 5000. So I thought that if we could raise 5 lakhs from such small donations, and another 10 lakhs from the more generous ones who will and can give more and from a few of my friends abroad, we would easily reach our target. But I have been proved wrong on most counts.
Initilally I had hesitated to ask my non-Indian friends living abroad. Because I knew that this year has been very hard of their purses given the energy crisis and the rising costs of living in Europe. I also knew that many were contributing towards supporting the people of Ukraine in this crazy ongoing war. But I did ask a few. And not a single one refused. They all gave generously, in sums ranging from 5 euros to 500 pounds.
But I am rather mystified by the reaction of some of my Indian friends to my request.
1. Many of them tell me it is a great initiative but say nothing about making an individual contribution.
2. At the other end of the spectrum, some others tell me that this is a crazy idea and that it will never work and I will not be able to raise anything close to the amount required. So they don't feel obliged to pay.
3. Others advise me on which corporates I could approach for funding but don't say anything about how much they will contribute themselves as individuals.
4. Some promise to donate but later conveniently forget, or the promised amount keeps getting smaller each time they remember.
5. Some have told me that they can't give me anything since donations to Sishugram are not yet tax exempt.
6. Some have told me that Jan-March is a bad time to look for donations since people are busy investing in to make sure they get the maximum tax benefit.
7. Others have told me that it is too much hassle to have to do a bank transfer, that we should get a Gpay account or an upi address.
8. Some others ask: why do you go around asking for donations when you could fund it all by yourself?
I could go on with more such reasons; all the reasons above are valid and any one of them can be used if one did not want to contribute... The moot point is that very few of my Indian friends have actually donated so far (exactly 11 have actually sent their contribution as of today) towards this effort. I am very grateful... But only 11?
Now, the classic argument that people in Europe have more money no longer holds good -- for many of my Indian friends earn as much if not more; on the other hand, in India one needs to spend much less for goods and services. Of course in India we need to save up for a rainy day but I'm talking of those who have more than enough, even if it did not stop raining starting today. Moreover, if my Indian friends did not have any money to spare they would not be splurging on holidays abroad or spending a lakh on a designer mekhela-sador to attend a wedding or think nothing about paying ten thousand rupees on an evening meal out. But all that is happening all the time....
I do not grudge anyone their little pleasures. What I find sad is that they don't or can't give me a honest answer. And why is it so hard to part with a few thousand rupees when you know that it is not really going to pinch anywhere at all?
So I have been trying to understand what is going on:
a. This could be a hangover from our British Raj days -- we are so used to being at the receiving end that the fact that we could also be giving doesn't strike us as possible as all; My response: Wake up!
b. A couple of my big-hearted friends have made modest contributions and have excused themselves from giving more since they are already contributing to many other causes. My response: Fair enough.
c. A friend told me that if I could make a big fuss about their generosity and send them nicely worded certificates of thanks etc. to boost their feeling of having done something virtuous and good, many more would come forward. My response: Are we dealing with little kids here?
d. The best explanation came from a friend, now in his eighties, who has been a keen observer of Assamese society. He put it very succinctly: 'besikoi diboloi mon nai, komkoi diboloi laj pai'
In other words: 'They don't want to give more; they are embarrassed to give less' so they give nothing.
My response: This is so typically Assamese... Their fear of losing face in front of their peers is the only thing that matters to a huge section of our upper middle class Assamese. Who cares what happens to the Sishugram girls. That is not their problem!
To end on a positive note, among all the people who have donated so far, there is exactly one person, a non-Assamese Ph.D. student from IIT Guwahati, who I do not know personally; he has given not a few hundred rupees but a hefty 7,500 rupees towards the fund. When I asked him why he gave so much, he wrote back saying, No big reason really; I heard about the fund-raising drive, I had that amount to spare at that moment, so I just donated... Ma'am, please don't say thank you.
I have to say thank you, because you have proved that there is at least one person of the kind I was looking for; because you have shown that being able to give is a state of mind that has nothing to do with whether one is rich or has enough; because you have shown that sharing is its own reward. Thank you!
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